The Pets of Valerian: A Workday for Gulu

Gulu, a black and white tuxedo cat, sits on a chair, looking at the camera with his tongue sticking out.

The Valerian team holds all our coworkers in high esteem, including the feline and canine members. Let’s take a look at a workday for Gulu, Mealtime Assurance Coordinator, one of the feline members who shares a workspace with copywriter Amy.

Second breakfast

The day starts early for Gulu and his brother Ezio; first breakfast is served at 6:15 AM on the dot (despite all the best efforts to get it earlier). However, Gulu looks forward to second breakfast, which he shares with Valerian copywriter Amy. Oddly, Amy puts this breakfast on a plate and tries to keep it away from Gulu—sometimes she even takes it outside onto the porch!—but Gulu has had plenty of practice swiping bits of toast or looking pathetic enough that Amy will offer a bit of her yogurt willingly. 

Screaming time 😸

After second breakfast, Amy usually heads upstairs to do yoga and then get to work, so Gulu takes a nap. He waits until he thinks enough time has passed for Amy to be really settling in for some concentration and that’s how he knows it’s time to wander around downstairs, screaming his fluffy little head off.

Screaming time has one rule that must always be followed: the screaming cannot stop until Amy comes down to give Gulu a pet on the head (and preferably some treats, although she’s typically a real hard-ass about that). If Amy tries to call back to Gulu from upstairs, or tells him to come up, Gulu must absolutely never give in under any circumstances.

Once satiated, screaming time is over (for now).

Crunch-crunch for lunch-lunch

The next order of business is reminding Amy that it’s time for lunch. 🕛 (She’s notoriously horrible and commences the meal unforgivably late… 12:02 instead of 12:00!) Wednesdays are the best because the area lunch sirens go off at noon, though Amy remains foolishly convinced that they’re just testing tornado sirens. 🙄 

Other responsibilities as assigned

There’s obviously a requirement for feline employees to appear in Zoom calls, but Gulu prefers to let Ezio handle those responsibilities. Instead, Gulu conserves energy for the final productivity push of the day.

At around 3:00, he takes a quick break from napping to demand a snack. He’s mostly trying to help Amy remember to take a break; it’s just a fortuitous bonus that he gets treats when she opens the pantry to get her snack. 

Finally, around 4:00, it’s screaming time: round 2. For round 2, the rules change, and screaming can—and should—happen everywhere. Scream downstairs, scream in the basement, scream on the stairs, scream from the floor right by Amy’s chair. If he’s really going above and beyond for the day, sometimes Gulu will sneak into the office and jump up, screaming, onto the back of Amy’s chair when she least expects it. What can he say? He’s great at his job.

Boundaries are important

Gulu does not condone overwork. In addition to reminding Amy about taking a break in the afternoon, he also sticks to a strict 5 PM stop time. It doesn’t matter if Amy is in the middle of something; Gulu believes in dropping everything and clocking out at 5:00 sharp! 😤 

Is that because 5:00 is also dinner time?

Maybe.

🌿

Do you have a feline coworker? Gulu would love to network with them. Drop their name and job title in the comments. 😸

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